Crikey for PM: All your questions answered

Crikey takes democracy incredibly seriously, and thinks who represents us all at every level of the political system should be scrutinised to ensure they represent our best interests — and not their own. In fact, it’s why we’re running for the Senate in Victoria (please do not vote for us). There is no intention to win, influence policy, or encourage people to cast their vote in any particular way. We are participating in the system to expose the flaws in the system.

We appreciate there may be a few questions. The below FAQ reflects the same intense discussions the Crikey team has been having about what we’re doing here and why we’re doing it.

Why is Crikey doing this?

We exist to advocate for policies that serve the national interest (no matter who advances them), hold the powerful to account, and expose corruption wherever we see it. We want to highlight all the ways aspiring and sitting politicians can spin narratives, hide facts, or outright lie to win your vote — and the power afforded to it. We’re pushing for transparency by highlighting hypocrisy.

Are you running as Crikey?

No. Firstly, you can’t do that (though we did briefly consider running a dog, which it turns out you also can’t do). Secondly, we don’t want our readers — or anyone — to back us on the ballot. Instead, we signed up using the name of a willing participant, but are branding the editorial series and any associated branding “Crikey for PM”.

Did you actually need to properly sign up? 

To uncover, scrutinise and expose the multitude of things aspiring politicians can get away with, we had to go the whole hog. Turns out you can lie on a billboard, receive donations from anyone without declaring it, and spam voters incessantly. Inspired by Clive Palmer’s chutzpah, Labor’s “Mediscare”, and the Coalition’s boat arrivals spam, we needed to take advantage of the perks, privileges and loopholes to truly see how it all works. 100% transparently, then give all the information straight to you.

Is this not an affront to democracy?

Boy, did the Crikey team talk about this a lot. Your vote is a precious thing in a world where millions aren’t afforded the right, and we firmly believe it’s the sanctity of the electoral process that makes this a firm public interest case. We really, really don’t want to win, and we won’t be making preferences. Our participation in an imperfect democratic process does not seek to undermine it, nor to bolster any existing cause or candidate, but to push for the system to be improved. We are not, and would never, encourage anyone to vote in any particular way.

Aren’t you wasting the AEC’s time?

Ah, our lovely, lovely friends at the Australian Electoral Commission (AEC). We’ve become very fond of this incredibly passionate, kind, generous and enterprising group of democracy beavers, who have been helpful at explaining the untold complexities of running for office. Candidates every election abuse the AEC’s time by running vain, distortive and disruptive campaigns, with no purpose other than furthering their own corporate or political agenda. Our agenda is in the public interest, and seeks to ensure the AEC’s purpose is upheld.

What if you, by some insane dark internet magic, win?

We pull out. Go home. Simple. We have absolutely no desire to do politics. Crikey is an apolitical publication and a cheerleader for no-one.

You know you can’t run for prime minister, right?

Yes. We chose the title because we 1) wanted to make it as hammy as possible 2) wanted to make it clear we weren’t running a serious campaign and 3) thought it had a good ring to it, no?

Have something to say about this article? Write to us at letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication in Crikey’s Your Say. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.